Nag mu-muni muni ka ba? (Do you take time to reflect?)
Don’t think for a second it’s a waste of time, because it has its functions. Going inward to reflect is valuable, it’s where you find the why to the what of “what the hell am I doing?” in your very busy life.
Lately, I’ve been musing about my WIPs and how their production is related to my ENTJ / INTJ categorization in the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI). No wonder, it’s part of the MBTI typology to explain how a person approaches work and art. And my WIPs are surely expressions of creativity.
I’ve always backed the MBTI typology because it speaks the truth for a lot of people I know. The language used is very accessible, not at all snobbish. If you’re interested in knowing your type, head over to 16Personalities. I’ve used their online test with my clients, and so far, okay naman. They’re reliable and, more importantly, free.
In the MBTI, I oscillate from one category to another since I’m an ambivert. The E and the I in the ENTJ–INTJ switches from time to time. Hence, I have strengths that the INTJ lacks—insofar as I am attuned to other people. Instead of keeping things all to myself, I share, talk about my ideas, and welcome others’ inputs. But it took me quite a while to work out my inner dynamics.
Today, I want to share my reflections on this aspect of myself in the hopes that it can help you deal with procrastination guilt. Because I’ve felt stuck writing my WIPs, and I felt stuck finishing this piece, too, as I kept spending more (not useless!) time in muni-muni, in reflection.
Mission and Reflection
The books I’ve read on MBTI say that ENTJs are executives and commanders. They desire to produce applied wisdom. Because of the J function, both ENTJs and INTJs are planful. In addition, we apply ourselves and finish the job.
I look back to when I was thinking about this creative praxis book—how I got unstuck by folding into myself, by taking time to reflect. The need to do that is so introverted. (That’s it, I can’t deny I’m an ambivert!)
It was only after I came to the conclusion that I’d be doing the WIPs that I felt like I finally had a mission. That feeling of having a mission—and finding the words for it—always fills me up with zeal, lights me from the inside out. I’ve always been like this since I was a kid: I need a broad purpose statement, then that trickles down to objectives and definite goals. It’s only when that broad purpose statement appears that I move. (This Big Picture goal must be somewhat coherent and nailed to reality—don’t ask me, it’s a tricky business!)
In that contemplation stage, I guilt-trip myself because of procrastinating, dragging my feet, being a lazybones, yada yada yada. But stop right there, Melany! Muni-muni time is a treasure. The Tagalog hyphenated word even sounds like the English word moon, which is symbolic of the anima archetype—the feminine aspect of the universal psyche, the elemental feminine.
Vision and Execution
Going inward to reflect is valuable, for it is where I find my why. Once I recognize this why, I find the words for my mission (it’s gotta be words). Only when this is articulated will I make the moves.
I notice that I tend to do things spontaneously at first—free-hand. Then I become agitated and look for patterns. In short, the Visionary emerges first, sees the Big Picture, gropes blindly to find the way, tests what works, what doesn’t—and then the brooding and thinking start. From that dark cave emerges the Executive.
Both ENTJs and INTJs—and I suppose ANTJs (?) like me—scorn art for art’s sake. We like to be the architect who sees and builds on patterns. We love reverse-engineering. I remember that one of the words I kept repeating when I was thinking about my dissertation was scaffolding. Nice play of words: architect, reverse-engineering, and scaffolding. And now that I have put words to my mission—alam ko na gagawin ko.
Purpose. Mastery. Competence. These are indeed very important for me and everybody on the TJ spectrum (or anybody, for that matter). The INTJ in me finds purpose in a personal vision; the ENTJ in me finds purpose in systems that work in the outside world. My right brain and my left brain join to make an art that’s structured innovation—and this is where I am right now as a writer.
Creativity and Structure
In Creative You: Using Your Personality Type to Thrive by Otto Kroeger and David B. Goldstein, there were suggestions of genres I’d be good at: essays, manuals, and creative nonfiction that talk about ideas. In this way, creativity lives in structure and conveys inner insight.
I must embrace the truth that a person like me (an INTJ–ENTJ hybrid) will not write suspense novels to captivate. I’m not the one with the magic carpet to bring you to Lala Land. I’m the professor whose work is a serious piece of something. You buy it when you need guidance. (But I promise not to be too boring, mmmkay? I want even the readers of my dissertation to go oooh and ahhh and keep on reading till the Conclusions and Implications.)
When you read my work, Imma teach you something. It’s not entertainment, but because I want you to listen, Imma make it entertaining. Direction. I’ll help you find your inner light (or die trying).
This being said, my current WIPs do not look like any that I know of. But that’s okay. I’ve accepted my fate. There may be others like me. Maybe I haven’t made their acquaintance yet. Perhaps I’ll be in this circle a few years from now. Who knows? I did not know I’d be doing these things today if you asked me ten years ago. Life is full of possibilities.
Identity and Purpose
Another reason why my WIP is not like other writers’ is because I locate my identity in my work—like all ENTJs/INTJs. I see myself as psychologist first (Dr. Heger, PhD-in-process), author second, and mom overall.
Most novel writers are Feeling–Perceptive types—they focus on emotions and flow—but I don’t create randomly or purely for expression’s sake. My creations are purposeful. A hammer isn’t pretty, but it’s what you need sometimes. You want me on your side when it comes to house repairs—or the repairs of your psyche. I’ll not do the artistic flourishes; let’s leave that to the designers and painters.
As I said, I’m actually writing two books and a dissertation. The purpose of my creative praxis (and the dissertation that’s the structure underneath) is to teach and build. The Young Adult memoir aims to heal myself, and maybe help with the healing of others. If I do this right, my memoir will soften my didactic edge, and my creative praxis book will lend me intellectual backbone.
So, muni-muni time, honor it, cherish it. Thank you for reading my musings about my writing projects. I would like to think I pushed you to the right direction. May you doom scroll less and journal more.
