As a therapist with Saya, I was asked to join a Reddit-style Ask Me Anything (AMA) where people could anonymously submit their questions about mental health, therapy, and emotional struggles.

Truth be told, I’m not even sure how Reddit works. I’m so tech-bobo sometimes. But the questions that came in were real, vulnerable, and deeply human—so I said yes.

Saya’s team recorded short videos of me answering each one, talking-head style, one to two minutes each. If you’re the type who prefers to read and reflect, I wanted to offer that option too—so here’s the written version.

These are my candid answers. If you know me, you know I cut to the chase. My answers come from my experience a licensed psychologist, a mom, and a person managing her anorexia nervosa.

Maybe one of these questions is something you quietly wonder about. If so, I hope this helps you feel seen. Read on.

Why do some people get stuck in therapy?

You might know someone who’s been in therapy and on meds for years—and they still seem stuck. Month after month, they go through cycles, they even therapist-hop.

Here’s what I want to say: Some mental health conditions require ongoing maintenance, just like medical conditions. You take meds to manage your diabetes, you go to therapy to manage your depression, anxiety, etc. You need regular sessions, but no need to be uptight about the scheduling.

Also, progress isn’t always obvious. What looks like a “cycle” from the outside might be deep, internal work. Some people count making it through the day without self-destructing as progress already. (They are in the stabilization phase, most likely.)

Finding the best match therapist for you is another factor. You may need to trial error before finding the right one. If you’ve been with me and don’t like my style, thanks for trying me out anyway. If you like my style, then great.

Lastly, readiness matters. (Can you pay for it? Are you ready to emotionally change?)

What can I do for ADHD without meds?

Ah, adult ADHD, I get asked about this condition a lot. I can diagnose you and help you manage it by goading you towards:

• Exercise—Cardio activates the hippocampus and supports memory and focus. I recommend finding balance-based movement like martial arts or dance that you enjoy.
• Mindfulness—Builds self-regulation. You need this.
• Structure + repetition—ADHD brains thrive on rhythm.
• Emotional support—because we need to work on your self-worth.
• Book recommendation: Scattered Minds by Dr. Gabor Maté. He links ADHD to early childhood stress in a compassionate way.

ADHD is about being scatterbrained and forgetful and all over the place. Something biological is happening here, as this has something to do with your neural wiring.

But if you want to stop living this way, you need to adopt a system. The only way it will work is if you are interested in it and if you feel the keenness of the deadline. You need an accountability partner.

Try me.

Will I ever forget the person who left me?

Frankly, no.

Memory is a fickle thing, but forgetting is not the point. What you need to do is heal from the grief of breakup.

Grief therapy is the most applicable approach for breakups. Losing your ex means you mourn who you were in relation to this person. Plus, you are going to discard the and the established routines. You also get to be seen less.

We often move through grief in stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance. But healing from a breakup comes in waves, it comes, it goes, with no apparent pattern, seemingly. Moving on quickly or slowly or somewhere in the middle is normal. The psyche processes its pain at its own pace.

Sometimes there will be flashbacks or panic attacks, moments when you feel really down or sad. My rule of thumb is, after six months, it should not hurt as much as the first two weeks or the first month. More than that, if your symptoms have not changed or you’ve gotten worse, consult a professional.

What If I can’t afford therapy?

Therapy isn’t always accessible. That’s the truth.

But mental health care doesn’t start and end with an appointment. Here are a few ways to support yourself now:

• Name what you feel—journaling, voice notes, or just saying it aloud
• Move your body—walk, stretch, dance, at least 15 minutes daily
• Stick to a routine—work towards consistency. Warning: harshness does not work, you need some leeway. If you find yourself rebelling, the routine is too tight. Find yourself floundering? It is too loose. Balance lang or it is pointless
• Micro-care—light a candle, sip something warm, put on your favorite playlist, wala dito ang doomscrolling ha, hindi yan micro-care. Which brings me to…
• The less smartphone usage the better—Nuff said.
• Connect—message a friend, talk to someone in real life. Even small talk is important to remind us that we’re connected to the bigger world around us. You are harder on yourself than you think with socializing.

Begin where you are, one small step can change your day, and if you are doing this one day at a time, them I commend you.

Just. Take. One. Step.

How do I dandle stress before it explodes?

It’s true, fifty years ago, life had a slower pace. To cope with modern day stressors, here’s what I recommend:

• Break tasks into baby steps. We can quote Voltaire here: Le mieux est l’ennemi du bien,” meaning “The perfect is the enemy of the good.” Just drop it. Nobody’s perfect, focus on progress instead.
• During bedtime, use your phone less, sleep more.
• Avoid checking your phone first thing in the morning. Give yourself time to wake up with your thoughts. Use a manual alarm clock if need be.
• Move. Breathe. Stretch.

Think of these as your everyday “reset buttons.” Your body is wise enough to send you signals that it is about to crash. (If you are listening.) Before that happens, take these steps. Pause.

Book recommendation: If you want a deeper dive, I recommend Jonathan Haidt’s The Anxious Generation. Another book recommendation is Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World.

How do I know If my emotional reaction is still normal?

Feeling overwhelmed all the time and not knowing if it’s still in the realm or normal or are you crossing a line?

Here are short cuts ways on how to distinguish:

Ask yourself this question: Are your reactions causing harm to yourself or others?

Then, check with others. Even if you’re not sure, ask people around you, people who care about you or just have a neutral attitude about you this question:

“In the past six months, have I seemed off to you?”

You need others; observations because your own memory and self-perception can be unreliable when distressed.

If the people you trust are shifts—or if you answered in the affirmative with the first question, go ka na. Ask for help. Better safe than sorry.

Asking for help puts us in a vulnerable spot, and if you are a man, this is so very hard, harder than if you are a woman. But think of it this way, if you end up hurting yourself, you will inevitably hurt the ones you love. And would you want that?

I have body image issues, where do I start with therapy for that?

First off: I’m proud of you for asking. That’s already Big Step #1.

Next, this is what you do to go find yourself a competent therapist if you’re exploring therapy for self-esteem or body image struggles:

• Start with profiles. If they have intro videos or bios (like on Saya), watch those.
• Look them up—LinkedIn, websites, articles.
• Trust your gut. One session is usually enough to sense if there’s a safe connection and kung may experience ba sila sa ganun klaseng problema.
• If it’s not a match, move on without guilt. Parang Tinder Date lang yan.

I am a therapist who specializes in body issues and health anxiety. You can consult me. I’m not only training-informed, I have had my own battles and I am scarred and sometimes scared, but I am still here and doing the good fight. You don’t need to be alone with this. And yeah, it is so hard to live with.

How do I find a therapist for binge eating?

Binge eating is a big fat lie, pardon the pun. You can call it pathological overeating, you can call it an addiction. Whatever you call it, it is the shame, that hurts, really.  

If you’re looking for help, refer to the question before this about finding a therapist for body image. One and the same tips.

Some important caveats: this is not about dieting or a wight loss, it is about your psyche and how you think of your body and your self in relation to your body.

A percentage of people with binge eating problems suffer from trauma, especially some form of sexual trauma. It’s due to disruptions to the body’s endocrine and metabolic systems, because of the trauma.

Again, as I have answered the question before this, this is the work I specialize in. Reach out if you need support.

What therapy works best for CPTSD and childhood trauma?

There are therapies that are more effective for complex PTSD—trauma that comes from childhood especially, that is prolonged and hard to escape.

Look for therapists who:

• Understand PTSD and relational trauma
• Use somatic approaches (body-focused work)
• Offer schema therapy, inner child work, or parts work
• Have experience with long-term emotional patterns, looking at the overall picture and not just the cluster of symptoms that appear scattered and all over the place (memory problems, focus, mood instability, panic attacks, flashbacks, hypervigilance, nightmares to start a few)

CPTSD is real. You’re not being “too much.”

Is therapy worth it for men like me?

Men toughing it out, that’s what men are taught to do.

I hear it all the time: “I just ‘f** it through.” Don’t feel, just keep on working, forget about it. Play games, exercise, ignore it.

Yes distractions are wonderful, they work as a temporary pause in rumination and worry, but emotional pressures don’ disappear overnight. They build, they disturb your sleep. Then one day… kaboom.

So yes, therapy is worth it. Mental health is health.

If your car needs annual Preventive Maintenance Service, ikaw pa kaya? May kumakalog ba? Pa-check mo na yan! Oks lang, confidential naman lahat to.

What have you got to loose? An hour and some money you loosely spend on Valorant and Mobile Legends?

Let therapy be your pressure release valve. Don’t go kaboom on yourself of your loved ones.

If you’re ready to start, I’m here

If any of these answers resonated with you, or brought up a “Maybe I need to talk to someone,” I want you to know this:

You’re allowed to get help before things fall apart.

There’s nothing wrong with needing support.

We are all “crazy” one way or the other.

If you’d like to work with me, book me exclusively through the Talk Saya app.

You can check my profile, watch my short intro video, and schedule a session directly from there.

Just show up, we’ll take it from there.