I now got the job that I want. But there is a story behind it.
I didn’t really know why I was job hunting. When I began roughly two months ago, I felt a restlessness inside of me. At that time, I d a stable enough job, but I was not content.
What prompted me to job-hunt was the threat of losing my job. My boss more or less communicated to me that we are in survival mode. Since I am an online worker and an independent contractor, I don’t have job security. I’m just surviving week to week, hoping that the roster of articles to write does not run out.
In retrospect, I was looking for a way out of the perilous situation. At the same time, I didn’t know where to go career-wise. You can I was exploring. It’s no wonder since I only started working three years ago. Before that, I was a full-time mom. I bet that in year three of a working professional’s life, they start getting the wandering eye.
One day, when I was out with my kids and husband, we passed by Fully Booked in Powerplant Mall. I stood in front of the storefront, I wouldn’t budge. On the display cases were proud arrangements of books, internationally published, in English. Seeing these, I was reminded of my solitary goal as a writer. One day, my book will be in this storefront display case. On this bookstore and other bookstores all over the world. This is my dream.
To get to that point, the first thing that crossed my mind was self-publishing a book. But this idea has been sitting with me for months and I never took action.
Actions speak louder than words, so the message is clear, isn’t it? I don’t want to self-publish. That’s not how I want to grow, for now. I reflected on my inaction and realized that I respond very well to accountability partners and deadlines. I’m propelled to move if I do it for somebody. In my quest for career growth, I can’t do it on my own—I need other people.
Maybe this does not work for you. You don’t like deliverables imposed by other people, you don’t like social pressure. I know several people who are driven, successful, self-starting solopreneurs. But I’m not one of them. I’ve forgiven myself for not being like them.
It took me a long time to get over the guilt that I’m not CEO material, unlike most Chinoys I know. Left to my own devices, I would be a bit of a slacker—drowning in my anorexic-food fantasies, and not doing anything meaningful for anybody. TBH.
That’s why I’m great at the mom job, you know? It’s fulfilling because I connect with people I care so much about. At the end of the day, I know my efforts were worth every hardship.
So, the way to move forward in this writing career is to join other people who know how to get there.
Have you ever felt lost looking for something, being unsure of what you are supposed to find? When I began job hunting, it felt that way. I was not really sure what job I wanted. I just looked at all the options and started submitting my resume and portfolio.
In total, I’ve sent 107 job applications. All in the effort of nailing this one job as a writer for a UK-based publishing company. It’s a journey with a tale worth telling. So I’m sharing it with you, and I am sharing it with my kids because success starts with multiple rounds of failure.
Rejected. Ignored. Ghosted.
Asked to write articles for free as trial tasks (with word counts of 300, 500, 1500, and 2000).
Asked to edit a 30,000-word document, again, for free. (This one takes the cake.)
Interviewed, interviewed, and interviewed again.
Failure upon failure.
Frustration.
There were nights I didn’t sleep so well. Too many.
But I persisted.
At the same time, as I mentioned, I was not really sure what I wanted.
It was a confusing period, but out of it, one truth emerged, something I’d never acknowledged in broad daylight before:
I usually know what I want when I see it.
Thinking too much makes me sick with worry. Overthinking something, and playing multiple scenarios in my head is paralyzing.
When I think on my feet, when I am spontaneous, I’m brilliant.
Are you familiar with the number 168? It stands for 一路发 or “one road of prosperity”. Being of Chinoy roots, this theme is part of my collective unconscious.
I want to get it right the first time. I want my first try to be correct. One shot and I hit the target.
But that’s not realistic, isn’t it? This time, it took me 107 tries.
Even if I didn’t know what I was looking for, I knew I was looking for a job that will make use of my knowledge, skills, and talents. These include my background in psychology, my capacity to boss people around (erm, management skills), my talent for writing non-fiction, and the EQ skills I learned (and am still learning) because of parenting. In short, I was looking for relevance.
Before I got this new job, I was a copywriter for an electronics company. The topics I wrote about were not my expertise. I felt that I was not doing the job justice. Increasingly, uneasiness hounded me. I wanted to write something else, something I knew more about, something that piques my interest.
Then, I chanced upon an ad by a British publishing company that sells self-help books—
I was so excited when I applied. At first, it felt like I was going to make it, but then the guy who runs the company (let’s call him Mr. Solopreneur) started treating me weirdly. So I gave it up, with my heart broken.
By weirdly, I mean he was the one who made me edit the aforementioned 30,000-word document. For free, as a test. This was followed up with a 2000-word blog, again for free, as a second test. According to him, I needed to do these tests so he could figure out where I fit in the business.
Out of desperation, I did both tests even when my intuition was screaming, “no”. During that one month we were in dialogue there were no other people who were interested in hiring me. This was my lowest point. I felt trapped, and I was even willing to do more tests by Mr. Solopreneur, just so I can get inside the publishing world.
Looking back, I understand my actions. I saw the object of my utmost desire, and I was willing to give it my all.
But Mr. Solopreneur didn’t deserve me. He toyed with me. He egged me on and baited me with the promise of a job. I worked for free, twice, fool that I am. He teased a job offer every few days, but he never made a solid proposal.
You may be one of the few people I confided in about this situation. I thank you now. I was so blinded that I let that guy walk all over me. Bruised, I went on a job application detox for a week, and when I returned, my perspective was clearer. I knew what I wanted now: I want to work for the publishing industry, preferably in the international realm. But if no one wanted me, I would settle for content writing or some other writing job that involves the use of my psych/ academic background. After all, Mr. Solopreneur noticed me because of my Master’s degree and license. Other potential clients will notice these things. They are not setbacks, they’re virtues.
So I logged on to Onlinejobs.ph again and started applying. But before I sent my applications, I tweaked my profile. Taking a long hard look at what got me noticed by Mr. Solopreneur and by other potential clients, I made an analysis. What qualities got me noticed by companies? When I did get interviews, what made the interviewers notice me?
I also became choosier with the ads I applied to. My priority list: (1) publishing companies, (2) clients looking for VAs with advanced degrees, (3) jobs that need education/psych background.
On this final round of applications post-detox, I got five ping-backs. Number One was a pharmaceutical company that liked my pre-med and psych background. Number Two was a Content Mill. Number Three wanted me to write product descriptions for their E-commerce website. Number Four needed somebody to write course content for their online business classes. And Number Five was the UK-based publisher I now work for.
One day, remarkably, I was entertaining all five of them.
I can’t ever forget that day. Because on the 11th hour (as in, 11 PM), I finally got hired. By Number Five, who offered me the job I really wanted.
That day, I got three solid job offers. I had to choose which one to accept. To add icing on the cake, Mr. Solopreneur tried to contact me that day too. (Of course, I ignored him.)
Now, as I write this, I have already resigned from the Chinese electronics company. My goodbye was amicable, pleasant, even. I’m looking forward to the new job in a few days.
My new job title is “Writer/ Virtual Assistant”. I mentioned earlier that while doing the job hunt, I was seeking relevance.
But there’s more to that. I was also seeking validity. I fell deeply for the solopreneur’s job ad because of the job title: “Junior English Writer”. With him, I could be a writer working in the publishing world. A real writer.
It may sound odd, but with a job title like that, my decision to leave the psych world would have been validated. Looks like I wanted people to know, “I’m not a legit Psychologist anymore, but I’m a real writer now”. I guess even if people say that job titles or titles of any sort shouldn’t matter, it matters to me. I’m not ashamed to admit it now—I want proof of legitimacy. I don’t know where it comes from, but it’s there. I can’t stand being invalidated.
Maybe you have this feeling too?
Anyway, about the new job. The pay is lower compared to my stint as a copywriter. It’s not a well-known, established company either. But at this stage of my life, it really isn’t about the pay. It’s about relevance and validity. Finally, I get my foot inside the door of the publishing world—the world that denied me entry for so long because I don’t conform (wrong degree, wrong background, wrong age). This is my chance and I’m going to make the best of it.
