I’m 40.

Happy birthday, Melany.

You’re 40.

This letter is my gift to you,

from me, who believes in you.

I know you can do it.

I know you think that you’ve been left behind, but you’ll catch up with your equals soon.

A friend said, “There’s no such thing as lost years.”

You have yet to be convinced, but think about it.

You said you lost ten years of your working life,

So 39-10 = 29.

Or should I say, “40-10 = 30?”

So tell me, what would you expect of someone who’s 30, career-wise?

Because that’s your career-age now. Minus the years you weren’t part of the work-force.

Again, “What do you expect of someone who’s 30, career-wise?”

She’d still be figuring it out, I guess.

Making rookie mistakes, doing awkward social moves,

Being clumsy.

Another person said, “Manage your expectations”.

Point taken.

You’ve only been working one year, and what a year of discovery!

You have a long way to go.

Don’t be scared anymore.

The good thing about being 40 is you cut to the chase.

You’re past the insecurities about your looks and your love-life.

You’ve made peace with what you like, what you don’t like.

You know your priorities.

What you can or cannot compromise.

So ask yourself the question again and again:

“What is it that you want in life?”

“What can’t you live without?”

“What would you mind not doing for the rest of your life?”

(Because aside from knowing what you really want, you have to tell me what you really don’t want. You have to have limits.)

Tell me when you are ready.

Love,

Melany

(Yes, I wrote myself a letter, a birthday letter.) 

1 COMMENT

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

spot_imgspot_img

Latest

They said blogging is dead but I got a website anyway

They also said I’d never make it as a writer. But I wrote anyway. I kept on showing up — even when there’s a part of...

Intentional Shopping in Middlescence

Every day, I spin the flashy, neon wheel of Melany’s Perimenopause Symptom Randomizer. One day, the prize is aches and pains; on other days,...

On my own again after exiting the corporate life

When people ask why I resigned, I say, “burnout.” It’s a concise way to describe the nature of the beast. As a psychologist, I...

How oedipal wounds affect a marriage

I had a recent (almost) fight with my spouse, and in the aftermath of it, I realized I was projecting my past experiences onto...

A broken Coursera taught me discernment

Several months ago, I enrolled in a Coursera course called Miracles of Human Language: An Introduction to Linguistics. It didn’t go down well. I chose...