My Facebook and Instagram Hacking Survival Story Part 1

My Instagram and Facebook accounts got hacked sometime August this year (2026).

I did not think it would happen to me. I thought I was already cautious and world-wise. Apparently not. I did not value my IG enough, and maybe that was the gateway of the attacker, but no matter. It’s all said and done now.

I have regained control of my Facebook, but the Instagram is lost forever. Rue the gods of tech, but try as I might, I could not unlock my IG. So, I have scheduled its deletion.

No regrets, though. I will just start anew.

In the meantime, months on, I am still living with the aftermath of the hacking. I feel victimized. My space got invaded.

When the hacker got access to my account, they changed my birthday to a teen’s. For a week, I had to struggle with how to get my account back to its adult status, because FB has different settings for teenage users.

The first week after the hacking was particularly bad. I already wrestle with a restricted sense of entitlement that got worse during that time. Because I do not think I deserve much in life, it’s like ‘Nah, nah, honey, I’m good’ (to the tune of Andy Grammer) most days for me. But the truth is, for those initial weeks it wasn’t good. I wasn’t alright.

A person who has more self-respect would demand reparation.

After I came to acknowledge this, I challenged myself enough to go through Meta’s steps for getting my age verified. I was surprised, actually. It wasn’t so hard after all! What was excruciating was the decision to stand up for myself and claim what was mine. Again, I am working towards a normal sense of entitlement, with emphasis on the word “working”.

Up to today, this hacking experience is still teaching me about deservedness. The other lesson is about lessening my tendency for self-blame..

Coincidentally, around the same time I got hacked, I made a serious mistake at work—one that grabs your boss’s attention and, more importantly, one I label as a rookie mistake. The two negative events combined took a toll on my mental health last month. My anxiety levels ratcheted up, so my perimenopausal insomnia intensified.

However, it’s not all that bad. Something curious also happened. While both of these events were unfolding, I actually had thoughts that ran along the lines of: “Oh, this is a learning experience,” “It was just a matter of time before it happened,” and “It happens to the best of us”.

These lines reflect where I am in my developmental process. I can’t shake the feeling that it has something to do with following the 道 (Tao) and practicing radical acceptance.

The philosophy of the 道, as explained by Lao Tzu always incorporates the element of water. Much like the rains and the floods we are experiencing right now, water is not unremittingly gentle. It can be a menace. But if you go with the flow, you have to radically accept: “So this is where it goes now.” Utter destruction, chaos. Whoever said change feels good?

So, here I am, in the midst of a storm. My Facebook status remains insecure to this day (‘Will I be hacked again?’ functions as a pervasive ruminative thought). How do you and I live in this unknown state? In this manner, I empathize deeply with victims of the recent floods both here in the Philippines and overseas. How do we find the energy and hope to stand up in the midst of shambles, while pain and loss are still so keenly felt?

As a psychologist, I see a lot of trauma survivors and thrivers. There are methods that can be used to transcend, grow from, and heal from these experiences. In a way, I am thankful these twin adverse events (the hacking and the work mistake) happened to me, because they deepened my empathy for people who suffer. Suffering is suffering; pain is pain. The fact that my pain is different does not mean I do not feel it just as sharply. It still leaves acid in the stomach, a throbbing in the head, and a hole in the heart.

So no matter what your tragedy is, I am sharing four key practices in the hope that they might serve as an anchor when you encounter your own unexpected hurts.

1. Grounding

You do this by existing fully in the present moment. Move about, engage in what you are doing, and tune into your five senses. Don’t resist reality; don’t float away. Be here now. Today is today, and tomorrow is another day. One day at a time.

2. Console yourself (self-assurance)

Remind yourself that in the heat of whatever happened, you acted based on the information you had at the time. For instance, with the Facebook hacking incident, I caught myself trapped in “should-haves”: I should have enabled two-factor authentication on Instagram, or I should have created a passkey. But those thoughts are just retrospective conjectures. How on earth was I supposed to know then? How could you have known that tragedy was about to strike?

I comfort myself with the knowledge that I did not intentionally bring this upon myself—and neither did you. If you are like me, an automatic script might have popped into your head like a bot: “Ang tanga mo naman (you are so stupid), you should have known better!” But we didn’t know. We were innocent. We never wished this wreck upon ourselves.

3. Acknowledge the impermanence of all things

I am just one small person—infinitesimal in this brilliant, horrible, and simultaneously ordinary world. In the total tally of my life, this event does not matter as much as it feels like it does right now. Five years from now, this Facebook hacking won’t matter that much. (Who knows if Facebook will still be a thing then?) I trust that, for the most part, it will be the same with your current challenge.

4. Have your own back

The last practice—and the most crucial one—is to be your own savior. Oftentimes, especially if we learned early on to outsource our sense of safety, we look for external reassurance. We look for helpers, or for someone to rescue us and tell us we are okay so that we can finally tell ourselves we are going to be okay.

That is flawed. I had to step in and tell myself:

“It’s OK, Melany. You may have made a mistake that contributed to this mishap, but you can handle it. You will own up to the consequences. You will show up for yourself.”

Reassuring myself that I will not abandon myself brings instant relief, simply because I have my own back.

Frequently, especially if you struggle with high anxiety, you are wont to undersell yourself. I beg to differ: you are capable of far more than you think. (If only our moms or dads had said that more often, we’d be golden.)

Make that same commitment.

Saying “I stand by me and I have my own back” allowed me to face the bittersweet truth and radically accept it. The rest of holistic coping naturally followed.

A final caveat: as I share these practices, remember: none of this works if there is no intention of moving forward. It takes time to reach that point, and when you get there is entirely up to you. Sometimes, you and I are just not ready yet.

As my Instagram account nears its permanent deletion date, I feel torn between being eager to have it finished and brooding over what was. What if I ty again? What if it can be recovered? But I have made a conscious choice: for the sake of my mental peace, I have to move on. Never mind the loss. Mababawi ko naman yung nawala sa akin. (It’ll be rebuilt, I can regain what I lost.)